Untold: Part 1

I have been trying to decide how to share my story on here. I can’t seem to write a story without it becoming like a riddle you can’t seem to solve. I write in pieces and I hope you would take time to understand what I wrote.

18 years old, a world so unknown yet, I feel so alive and fresh. I just moved back from Knoxville, Tn. to Michigan. So many things I have experienced within that year of me moving to Tn from Mi. I found myself then lost myself all in the same year only to lose myself again in this process.

18 years old so much going for myself. I can taste every dream and see them coming together. Working hard to build an empire of a lifetime. I met Nia on my journey to discover life. Nia was going to take me under her wing and mentor me along the way. Everything was going the way we thought it should be going.

Bear with me as I piece my life together through these blogs. I’m not the best writer when it comes to writing a story

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I’m my own person

I don’t like her…. you can’t like her

You’re not loyal to me if you talk to her

I’m confused with these words.?

I’m my own person with my own perspective of things.

You and the person have a problem, not me?

So why must I stop talking to someone because you stopped, because y’all don’t like each other or whatever the case may be.

I will not accept someone talking about my friends in front of me if there me friends.

I’m the type of person to stand up for my friends, but then again right is right and wrong is wrong and I’m that friend to let you know you’re wrong when you are. I give credit where credit is due.

I’m my own person, I hope you understand that but if you don’t that’s okay. We all cross paths for a reason and what ever the reason I’m thankful!

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There is this whole in my soul and I feel locked and chained. These babies didn’t asked to be here and they damn sure didn’t asked to be mistreated by the people who are suppose to love them. Hopelessness is the pain I feel for these babies, this job can be draining at time and I know my job is just to make them comfortable enough to tell me what’s going on and get them to the right people who can help them. This time around it was most devastating because I have met a set of triplets who just turned 3 who I have falling in love with. They been through so much already and all they need is to be love, a great home, to feel safe and be protected. Losing hope in a situation where I have done all that I can do.

Strong enough

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Sometimes I wonder why no one checks on me after I expressed things that I’ve been dealing with.

I call people to check on them all the time and sometimes I would like the same in return.

I am strong enough to handle all things but then again I don’t always want to be strong alone. I want someone to be there through it all. To truly listen without quickly speaking but to truly understand as I try to.

Giving my heart and in return I was expecting until disappointment become known as to what to expect. So now I dont expect anything so therefore I’m not disappointed. What will be will be.

I am strong enough to handle what is thrown my way, even if I have to stop and cry, shut people out, silence the noise. I will revive myself back to life full of peace and happiness. I will be restored whole. I will be renewed becoming new and leaving the old behind. Everyday is a new day and a new journey to start over, you can also start over in the next minute it’s never too late to start over. When starting over it’s time to Reclaim everything that was taken and get more. I am Redeemed. That’s the best place to be is recovering from within

I am strong enough and so are you!

Forgive yourself!

Forgiveness is the hardest thing that I had to work on and I am still working on that for myself. For some reason, I always forgave others with no problem, but when it came to me I was the hardest on myself. I find myself getting angry for so many things I have done wrong and just wishing I could be perfect. We are all human and that is the best thing about us. We can make mistakes and it’s okay, just hopefully in the end you don’t have to repeat them but if you do try to be better at learning the lesson the next time around. I have been practicing loving all of me flaws and all because loving myself means accepting all of me even in my imperfections.

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Everyday I look in the mirror and say

I love me, I am Beautiful and I forgive me